Sobriety
The word sober doesn’t just apply to alcohol. From the thesaurus on my trusty Mac:
1 - The driver was clearly sober; not drunk, clearheaded; teetotal, abstinent, abstemious, dry; informal on the wagon. antonym drunk.Therefore the words sober and sobriety apply well to abstinence from sexual (or any) addictions.
2 - A sober view of life serious, solemn, sensible, thoughtful, grave, somber, staid, levelheaded, businesslike, down-to-earth, commonsensical, pragmatic, conservative; unemotional, dispassionate, objective, matter-of-fact, no-nonsense, rational, logical, straightforward. antonym frivolous.
Sobriety does not necessarily equal recovery
I realized this concept one day during my weekly recovery meeting. Its converse is also true: Recovery progress does not have to include sobriety.
For example, I served a faithful two-year mission for the LDS church. I had no access to pornography, so therefore I was sober. Yet I realize now that my addiction was alive, yet dormant, the entire time. I had simply buried my problem, but like a moldering campfire it could spring up at any time. After my mission it did just that. Before my mission I made the mistake of thinking that sobriety equaled recovery – this was not true.
As a personal example of the converse statement I can point to my progress over the past four months since beginning recovery meetings. My life has improved dramatically as I have progressed spiritually and emotionally by leaps and bounds. Yet, my lengths of sobriety have not noticeably increased (until recently). Have I just been spinning my wheels for four months? I don’t believe so.
The Lord has been busy fixing my insides. He has been adjusting my habits, clearing my mind, and changing my thinking. These changes have brought peace and understanding back to my life. I can, and do, feel progress in my recovery even though I do not see long lengths of sobriety.
Some thoughts on the Sacrament
For years I thought that sobriety was everything, and without it there was no success, no progress, and no worthiness. I have refused the sacrament many, many times thinking that I had not abstained long enough to merit partaking.
Is there some magical length of time in the laws of heaven after which a sinner all of a sudden becomes worthy once again?
Of course not! I am worthy to partake of the sacrament when I am “willing to take upon [me] the name of thy Son,” when I am willing to “always remember him,” and when I am willing to “keep his commandments.” It is this willingness, this sincerity and real intent, that merits the promised reward that I “may always have the spirit to be with [me].”
How else can the sinner truly forsake his sins without the help of the spirit? The notion that only the sinless can feel the spirit is completely and ridiculously false! It is the sin-riddled that need the spirit all the more!
I now partake of the sacrament regardless of how long I have gone without giving in to my addiction. Instead, I examine my heart. I ask myself, “Today, at this moment, am I willing to give away all my sins to know the Lord?” If the answer is yes, then I partake – and I believe that I do so worthily.
Only I know if I am being honest with myself – sincerity is the core of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I testify of the goodness that has returned to my life since I have begun to partake of the sacrament in this light.
